Whether it’s scrolling through eBay for the closest estimated arrival date, or checking your bank account every few hours to see if that magical pay check has gone through… we all put a rush on life and what happens in it. So here’s my questions, what’s the big rush? We try to rush things and get frustrated when the pace makes it feel as though it’s never going to happen. But why do we do this?!
So many times in my life, I have stuck to my own agenda. I pray and pray then get disheartened or lose hope if it doesn’t happen instantaneously. Whether it’s wanting an answer from God or needing something in particular, I often find myself wanting to rush God and do things my own way.
But patience is something I’m currently being taught, in particular with finances. Within the next few weeks I have to pay all of my school fees ($4,500) which isn’t easy to do when
- You’re a missionary, and
- The only free time you have is *most* weekend and nights.
So what else can I do besides try to fundraise and pray? Well let me tell you a little story.
Early one Monday morning I was sitting in the campus cafe getting ready to do some fundraiser planning. I had pulled out all of my books etc. when Zan came over and told me to “pray for the next 15 minutes, no laptop, no phone, just prayer to see what God wants.” So I began to pray and got a solid “Just wait.”
“JUST WAIT?! GOD, DON’T YOU KNOW I’M GOING ON OUTREACH IN JUST 5 WEEKS?!” I thought. So I tried to come up with some ideas myself but nothing seemed right. I prayed a lot in the following 2 weeks after that and still nothing was happening.
But let me tell you, those prayers were not a waste. These past 2 weeks money has come flowing abundantly. He heard my prayers and answered them in His perfect timing, not mine. It would have been easy if I had just prayed and gotten the money straight away, but I can see how God used this as a lesson of faith and dependency. Yes, I still need around $3000 to pay the rest of my fees but God has renewed me in a way that I feel excited to see how the remaining money will come in, not stressed.
My life as a full-time missionary definitely isn’t going to be easy and yes, sometimes the area of finances will feel like a desert… but that doesn’t mean I’ve been deserted. I just need the faith and dependency it requires to push through and not give up.
So I hope this has encouraged someone who it may be rough right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (as cliché as that sounds). God sees you and your struggles and He is walking right alongside.